We are all in love with the idea of being in love, rather than meeting someone and naturally falling in love with who they are and how they make us feel.
People get into relationships these days because they feel like they should be in one.People are so infatuated with the idea of being in love, that they will literally take anyone.
We all just want someone to share our lives with, spend our time with and to spoon us.
We all crave love and affection, but are becoming too impatient and settling for just about anyone.
We're not getting to know people and falling in love with who they are anymore, we're falling in love with the idea of who they could be with us, without even finding out what kind of person they are.
We feel like if we're not in a relationship then we should be, and we are constantly being subjected to images of "love" and "perfect relationships" through social media, that is causing us to develop false illusions of "love" and to crave anything that will come remotely close to our fabricated expectations.
We forget to actually get to know a person and miss out on legitimately falling in love with someone for who they are; we get into relationships purely to not be alone- & that's shit.
There seems to be this constant fear of being "forever alone"; of never having a boyfriend or girlfriend, of never being kissed, of never losing your virginity, and of never being loved.
I have seen this "fear" in people as young as 12, and they genuinely think that if they don't have sex, or kiss someone or get someone to "date" them, right then and there, that they will end up a lonely old person with 27 cats, never having experienced love.
So they rush into things, jumping into anyones bed, or backseat, or even public toilets and bushes.... and they take away the importance of those first special moments and experiences.
Sex becomes... mediocre and meaningless, and love is non-existent, leaving only a very false illusion.
There's no thrill of the build up to a first kiss, there's no tingling anticipating and rarely any surprises.
There's no meeting each other half way, or going above and beyond just to see one another.
It's all very desensitised, unemotional and clinical.
& It's sad, because everything magical about love, is dying with our generation, or so it seems.
Now that there's snap chat, and Skype, and FaceTime, and instant messaging, and Facebook and instagram, etc, the technology just desensitises us and lessens the intimacy of "love".
People can present themselves and their love life in anyway they like, and people can now get rejected on multiple platforms without ever having to be told face to face.
We get lazy because we can just call people or video chat with them, rather than having to make plans or go and see them, we can just text them that we can't make it to something, so that we don't have to face their disappointed face in real life.
People are more distracted, and can find out whatever they want to know about you by going on your Facebook page or stalking your instagram to see what you had for lunch yesterday.
People start relationships through social media with people they've never even met- people who are just searching for anyone to make them feel loved and special.
& don't get me wrong, feeling alone is nothing to be ashamed of, we've all been there- but people are getting so desperate that they're literally on the hunt for a partner, rather than letting feelings with people and for people naturally progress, they just snatch up anyone who they find slightly attractive.
I think, although you might feel lonely sometimes, and the idea of having somebody seems like the best possible thing, it only is if you really know that person, love most things about that person and can stand being around them for long periods of time- all of which takes time and work.
& even with all these means of communication, it still ceases to amaze me how lonely we all feel.
If someone doesn't text us back straight away, or doesn't answer our drunk calls, or stops retweeting us or has "seen" our latest message but hasn't replied, we feel so dejected and unloved.
In a world so big, with so many people connecting every second, we feel tiny and we feel alone.
We check every social media app and website for any messages or notifications from someone we like and it's crazy the excuses that people come up for in defence of their crushes...
But it has honestly taken me up until now, at the age of 19, to realise that if someone really likes you, they will make an effort- and boy do they have a lot of options....
With the bazillion means of contact they have at their disposal, if they want to talk to you, you will not miss it (unless your phone explodes or your computer gets laptop-napped whilst you sleep).
You shouldn't have to constantly keep putting yourself out there and messaging them and stressing about why they haven't replied when they're "online" and why they haven't liked your latest selfie.
If someone REALLY is keen on you, they will go to the ends of the earth to a) contact you, b) to arrange to see you or c) to let you know how they feel about you.
So if someone isn't contacting you, arranging to see you or telling you that they're crazy about you, the chances are that they're probably not and you should back the hell up and find someone worth your time.
Over the last year, I have really had some reflective time to consider this whole love thing, and I've come to the conclusion that:
a) Everything happens for a reason- you meet certain people at certain points in your life for a reason, be it a quick romantic fling to remind you that there is still hope for your love life, or a head over heels, sweeps you off your feet kind of meeting, they will come when they are meant to come,
which brings me to b) Love tends to find you, when you stop looking for it and when you are least expecting it- and it's those kinds of love that really do sweep you off your feet & take you by surprise
c) Life is too goddamn short to wait around for some boy or some girl, to make up their mind about whether or not they like you, or to wait around for them to text you, or to let them sit on the fence about whether or not they want a relationship or to just keep it casual- make your intentions clear, and if they don't reciprocate your feelings, and are just fucking you around, then move on! Don't waste your time on someone who isn't putting time into you- because chances are they never will
d) BE PATIENT- Stop being desperate and imagining the kind of relationship you and that hot lifeguard could have, or the what that cute checkout chick would look like on your wedding day... I am a firm believer in those clich'e, catch your breath, be swept off your feet and fireworks exploding in the background moments when you just know that you are seeing the love of your life, naive possibly, but I think we all have that someone out there, and that they are worth waiting for, and even if you don't believe in soul mates or "the one" or whatever, then at least hold out for genuine feelings and genuine happiness.
DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE & DO NOT SETTLE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED & HAPPY EVERYDAY!
Keep the magic of love alive.
