I'm currently; jobless, homeless, almost poor, and I may be refused re-entry into my country of birth.
On the plus side, I've been to a lot of countries, I've seen a lot of things & I've met a lot of people.
I'm living, I'm just running out of funds to live in the way that I want to live.
Over the last three months I've visited over 20 countries, and I've never felt more free.
It's been an incredible trip so far, and I hope that it continues.
I did things I never imagined I would get a chance to even contemplate.
I experienced things that can't be bought with money.
I saw more of the world than most people would in a lifetime.
I made friendships that will hopefully be for life.
I fell in love; with people, with places, with the world.
But now I'm back at a crossroads.
I'm lost.
I need to get a job, so that I can increase my travel fund to continue my adventure.
I need to figure out what exactly it is that I want.
What I want to do now, what I want to do with my life.
I keep thinking about home. I miss it; I miss family, I miss my room, I miss my guitar, I miss the beach, I miss the weather, I miss the familiarity, I miss the feeling of home, I miss the Australian way of life, I miss my dad's cooking, I miss the way my mum makes a cup of tea and sneaks me some chocolate with it, I miss the sound of my gorgeous dog barking at someone jogging past or chasing the postman up the road, I miss the way he would lay his head over the front door threshold and look at me with those big brown eyes asking for a pet, I miss the way his ears feel like soft clouds, I miss the sunsets that only home has, I miss the sound of the birds, I miss the smell of bacon in the morning, I miss the faint sound of my dad watching the morning show at 6am, I miss driving, I miss my favourite pizza and cocktail bar, I miss walking my dog along the river, I miss working towards a goal, I miss Sunday night family dinners, I miss watching reality tv shows with my mum, I miss it all.
But as much as I miss it, it's where I got stuck. I got stuck in the funk of habit and routine and familiarity, which isn't always the best thing.
I love home, and I miss home, but I don't think I need home.
Home is easy. Home is safe.
I need to get out of my comfort zone, and my safety bubble.
I need spontaneity, I need hard work, I need to make it on my own, to know that I can.
I need to travel, I need to see the world, I need to experience as much as possible.
I need to open the black box inside my head that's been locked and hidden.
I need it to tell me who I am.
I need it to tell me what to do.
I need it to guide me.
